


La Douleur Exquise

by orphan_account



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, X-Men (Movies), X-Men (Movieverse), X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014) - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, charles didn't get out of the way fast enough, i will go down with this ship tho man, muddled thoughts, my first xmen fic oh no, sort of dying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-22
Updated: 2015-02-22
Packaged: 2018-03-14 13:48:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3412958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>The violence and fierce anger and anticipation of pain was too much for Charles and for a moment his concentration broke and his own pain broke through his barriers and flooded everyone close – dimly he heard screams from the humans and a cry from Raven but most of all he heard Erik through their bond, felt the way that his hurricane-thought froze in its path and was replaced with a storm.</em>
</p><p>The pain of loving someone you can never have is said to be the most exquisite of pain, and having experienced most kinds Charles Xavier is inclined to agree...though he is ready to admit that being stabbed through the chest by a huge piece of metal is a fairly painful experience as well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	La Douleur Exquise

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first fic in this fandom, I hope it's okay :)

Pain. Unbearable pain.

_Whiteflashhot **blinding** ribscrack **heavymetal** blindhotsohot **whyisitsohot**_

Flash, flash, flash. Nothing but pain.

_Nothotanymore **leechingmywarmth** myheatcoldcoldcold **whysocold** toocold **freezingcold**_

Gradually, slips of consciousness filter through, memory, recollections.

_Soheavysosoheavynumb **erikwhy** metalfloating **muststopraven**_

One thought, in his head. Only one.

_Stopthemstopthemstopthem **stopthem** mustmustmust **stopthem**_

Gasping past the unbearable pain – oh, the pain – _redhot **burning** whiteflashingburstoverandover – _he pushed open his eyes.

_Blueskybrightsunfourwhitecloudsonegreycloud **metalmetalmetal** blocking_

A lattice of metal criss-crossed the perfect blue of the sky, wheeling, dizzying – _flyingroundandaroundandaroundspinning **whyisitspinning** – _but he forced his mind past it, past the pain _thornsbarrierflashflashflashpain **whitehot** cold **freezing**_ pain and grasped weakly at the sparks of life standing near, standing on the grass inside the stadium or in the metal box like a safe  _butitisntsafenow **notfromhim**._

He tried to bring his fingers to his temple but the pain _whitehotflashnumbthornscrush_ pain wouldn’t allow it.

He drifted past the minds of the politicians, brief snatches of their howling confusion and fear leeching through – **_mutant_** _whytheyll **kill** gungungunplease **killhiminstead** – _briefly touched upon Raven – _killwhyshouldinot **theykilled** ohsomuch **angelangelangel** herwingswhy **murderers** butcharles – _oh, he remembers, his name is Charles…

His consciousness ghosts past the twisted anger-fear-sadness that is Raven and comes to a much darker spark, roiling with pain and fury and darkness and _why is it so dark_ , howling around and around and around in a hurricane of rage but _there is light in there_.

His helmet was knocked off and he is defenceless to Charles but Charles doesn’t have enough power _or life_ to force him, and he feels the power _and life_ leak away with every passing heartbeat.

Warmth gushes over his numb chest with every passing heartbeat as well , burning and corroding like _acidandfireandlavaandpoison_ but Charles has to ignore it has to save them _and the world_ so he grabs hold of the tiny hurricane that is Erik and refuses to let go.

_Mybrothersandsisters **dead** alldead **thefilthyrats** howdaretheycharlesdoesnotseenoneofthemseeonlyisee – **Charles?**_

The spark recoils, sensing contact; Charles has to pour all of his concentration into keeping hold of it – but it’s burning him _burninghotcoldfreezingblisteringhothothot –_ but their lives _everyone’s lives_ depend on him so he does not let go.

**_Erik. Don’t._ **

**_GET OUT OF MY HEAD, CHARLES_ **

**_You will start something worse. A war. You heard what he said._ **

**_But he is not here any longer. What do I care for war? We are powerful. We will triumph and they will lose and they will finally treat us the way we deserve – we will do the same for them, the murdering scum, they can all die die die die die–_ **

The violence and fierce anger and anticipation _as well as remembrance_ of pain was too much for Charles and for a moment his concentration broke and his own pain _burningtwistingcrushingfreezing_ pain broke through his barriers and flooded everyone close – dimly he heard screams from the humans and a cry from Raven _nononoravencannotbeinpainravenno_ but most of all he heard Erik through their bond, felt the way that his hurricane-thought froze in its path and was replaced with a storm–

_Crushingcracking **bloodandfire** poisonacidpainpainpainpain **whythepain** cantitend?_

**_CHARLES WHAT HAPPENED?_ **

It’s too much he can feel himself slipping _likewaterthroughholesliketimethroughspacelike **bloodfromawound**_ and everything is blurring and the blue sky and white clouds and grey clouds and silver metal are all drowned in a shimmering haze and black sparks dance around the corners.

**_CHARLESNONONOMYFAULTWHYSTAYCHARLESSTAYTHEMETALMYFAULT_ **

He barely notices the roar through the tremulous bond because what he does notice is the weight lifting from his chest.

_Weightgone **whyisitgone** butnowthebloodisgoingfasteritsopen **amigoingtodie?**_

The blue and grey and white tunes sharply into focus for a fraction of a second and Charles can see a face drawn tight and pale with anger and anguish and _thatfaceissobeautiful **whydidntitellhimbefore**_ he wishes he had told him, how he wishes

but he is sinking sinking sin ki  n    g

 

down

 

 

                           down

 

 

 

 

d o   w       n

 

 

_blacknessdarkness **coldcoldcold** fallingsinkingpainblisteringburning **fireandblood** redwhiteblackbutitsgoing **itsfading** itsnumbingiamgoinggoodbye **erikiloveyou**_

_down_

_down_

_…._

_is it  finally  o v  e    r      ?_

_he feels over….   .       .         .              .                .                             .                                         .                                                          ._

 

 

 

**_beep_ **

**_beep_ **

**_beep_ **

**_beep_ **

It's the beeping that wakes him first; and when he opens his eyes, he is not alone. Will never be alone again.

 

Or that's what Erik promises.

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> ta da!  
> Thank you for reading all the way up to here and I really hope you liked it c:  
> Kudos/comments/reviews/bashings appreciated :)


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